LETTING GO AND LETTING GOD
I found that letting go of the anger, the fear and sorrow became easier with each passing day and it encouraged me to allow others to participate in my struggle. All at once, I was able to see that the people all around me were really God's angels. My journey was and is not one I have to make alone. I cannot carry my cross alone. Asking for help did not make me a weak or vulnerable person. God needed to be the center of my healing. I would have to reach out to God and let go of what was happening to me.

SUFFERING WITH DIGNITY
When I think of carrying a cross or suffering with dignity, I think of Pope John Paul II. He has recently been on our minds and in our hearts as he was suffering and dying. He was a shining example of how we as Christians should carry our cross and to be Christ like even in times of suffering.

"Suffering is what identifies us with Christ. There is a dignity to suffering. That dignity is to offer our suffering for the savior of the world." - Pope John Paul II

How you carry your cross and deal with your suffering is really up to you. We all have a choice to let Christ in, and to let go. You must allow Christ to help you, to carry you if need be. Let your family into your life, your friends, mentors, your Church, and teachers. They are here as God's witnesses and disciples. Through their love, support and strength, you can get back up and take another step with strength and confidence.

AWARENESS
For me, this year has been an awakening and a relearning of how to live life. In the end, I found that regardless of all my days of pain, depression, suffering, and recovery, the strength of spirit, friendship, love, prayer and laughter can change your perspective of life for the better. God has a plan, we don't always see it, but over time, it becomes so clear and also blossoms into a wonderful blessing.